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Lesson 66 Ici et maintenant
Before I began to write my blog regularly again in April, I took a few days to clean up in my ancient blogs.
Even if I stopped writing for many years, there were already more than 1000 blogs until now, so it took me some time to do this work …
After I finished it, I told José that I did a clean up, and that I have hidden many blogs related to my difficult past.
He became silent for a few seconds, and then he nodded, “It is a very important decision. It is a new step in your life. It is really good for you Yuan…”
He was so touched that even his voice was trembling a little bit …
José continued, “I always wanted to talk about it with you. But I believe that writing is your pleasure; and it is your blog. So I need to respect your freedom, the freedom of writing down whatever you want to write.”
“But now, the decision was totally coming from you, and it is your private decision. I give you my congratulations and I am proud of you… You did not only cleared up your blogs, but you also cleaned up your mind. From now on, there will not be any negativeness in your blog.”
“You call your blog a secret garden, that is a beautiful name, and it is true. So, normally, what should you do to keep a garden alive, you should make sure that there are only beautiful flowers growing in it and all of the weeds need to be cleared out from time to time.”
He said, “Never too late to do good… I am happy that you can understand it at your age. Which means your life will not be totally wasted…”
“How many people spend all of their life time feeling grief about their lost childhood, which will never come back, by the way… These people are adults without a childhood. They are like the plants without deep and strong roots in the ground. They are fragile ; they are unhappy ; they are depressed ; they are sad ; they are mournful ; they rely on drugs and alcohol ; they say that they are like that because of their cursed family…”
“And how many people suffer everyday from the problem of tomorrow, like “If I don’t have enough money in the future, what can I do ?” You smile ? You are familiar with it ?”
“So if you keep feeling melancholy about your lost past, and you keep being worried about your unknown future, where is the time and space for you for the “Ici et maintenant” ?”
“Yuan, you know, what is life ? Life is not fulfilled by money or success only. Life is composed by so many little moments, these moments are called “Ici et maintenant.” Fulfilled by these small moments, life becomes like a journey, a journey of events ; a journey of experiences ; a journey of memories ; a journey of learning ; a journey of growing.”
“One day when you will leave this world, what can you bring with you ? Money, no. House, no. People you loved, no. People who loved you, no. Only memories. So you should build up a bank of your memories, good memories. That is the benefit of life. “
“I wish you that, when you finally are ready to go to an eternal journey, you will close your eyes, and you could tell yourself, in peace, that “I am happy that I lived my life, and it was a good life.””
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