Petit à petit, Yuan fait son nid.

    Lesson 17 Coolness

   Days before, I posted a personal picture on my blog. In that picture I am looking sideways while Azalea is looking at the camera directly. When I looked at myself, feeling I was being cool looking like that, I said "Wow, I am so cool!"

     Jose smiled, "Really?"

     I asked him, "What do you mean?"

     Jose said, "Nothing, I just asked —— Do you really think that you are cool?"      

     Hmmm, it was a good question. Then I asked him, "How do you feel about me?"

     Jose said, "Yuan, I have known you for almost 4 years now. Honestly, I don't believe that you are cool. And when I am saying that, I am not judging you, I am not criticizing you, I am simply telling you how I really feel. You know, nowadays, every young people wants to be cool, but in fact, trying to be cool is not really cool. Simply said, coolness doesn't exist when you want to be cool. Coolness comes from very deep in your nature, it is there. Or not. You can be cool or you can not be cool, but you can not try to be cool. You understand what I mean?"

     "Hmmmm." I found it could be an interesting tongue twister…

     Jose wanted to make it simpler, he said, "Coolness means being equal; coolness means you are sure about yourself; you are sure about what you are doing. Coolness also means predictability. You can have ups and downs, but the others around you should not see, let alone feel it. Coolness also comes from experience and maturity. Young people can not be cool easily because they lack experience; they don't know where they are going and what they can grasp. "

     "So it is not cool wanting to be cool because "It is sooo cool!", and it is not cool trying to be cool just to "Show the others how cool I am; how cool I can be." Real coolness has nothing to do with how you are dressing, what kind of gadgets you are using, what kind of car you are driving; it is all about your personality, your deep deep nature, it is there, floating under the surface."

     "Hmmm." I winced my eyes a little bit.

     Jose said, "Let's talk about you, are you equal and stable Yuan? Certainly not. Five minutes ago you might be quite unhappy and five minutes later you could be very excited, just for small and unimportant things in both cases. Are you predictable? Certainly not! Sometimes I want to share some funny things with you but I need to ask you whether you are in the mood for that, otherwise you would not see the funny part of it. Can anybody around you see whether you are happy or not? Certainly yes, everything is clear in your face; in your eyes, in your body language and I can see it immediately. You are not yet a person who can really control her emotions and be equal going through good times and bad times. So are you really cool?"

     "Hmmmm. I… I…I…" I frustrated.

     Jose laughed, "You see, you could be so down after you heard what I said, which is the best proof that I am right. But don't worry, I was not as cool as I am now when I was your age, so take time, don't try to be cool, just let it be…"

    "Be what?" I asked.

    "Be cool." Jose said.